Honestly, nothing particularly eventful happened today. No dramatic breakup, no unfair layoff, no marriage proposal, no closing the deal on that house I’ve been eyeing for months! In fact, the reason I’m writing today is quite the opposite. It’s because of an insignificant thought that maybe spending 48 hours and $623 to visit Tofino all by myself wasn’t the best way to celebrate my late partner’s 35th birthday.
I’ve always taken pride in my solo travels, and I’ll admit I’ve felt somewhat foolishly invincible during and after each one of my trips. Yeah, they’re littered with losing my way a gazillion times, missing my bus/train a couple of times, and getting home 10 hours to a couple of days later than planned thanks to my directional challengedness. But every trip has been a little “screw you” to fate; sure, you can steal the love of my life from me, but I’ll still connect with him through the one activity we loved more than anything else – traveling.
It’s the little things
So you can imagine my shock when my usual sense of accomplishment was tainted by the utilitarian thought of time and money spent! I sat with this discomfort for a few minutes, and suddenly a new thought emerged – the stray tabby cat with not-so-soft white floof who meowed his way into my lap. This happened almost out of nowhere while I was sitting on a red Adirondack chair, sipping tea on the patio of the Airbnb I was renting in Tofino. He made himself comfortable by nuzzling his face into my stomach for extra warmth. No force on earth could stop me from petting, face massaging, and baby talking in my native tongue, Kannada to this fur ball curled up in my lap! I was overwhelmed by his acceptance of me; it was pure peace and belonging I felt. This memory was enough to shut the utilitarian in me. A cat in Tofino needed to be loved and fussed over making my 90-minute ferry ride and 4-hour bus trip to Tofino totally worthwhile!
But my subconscious kindly supplied me with more unforgettable memories from my 48 hour trip to drive the point home. The mesmerizing sunset at Tonquin Beach where the sky showed off its dazzling hues peaking at blood orange before settling into soft pink. I swear Ved sat down beside me on the sand and held my hand, as if assuring me he’s always by my side. Then, a catapult of not-so-altruistic memories emerged! The unique taste of smoked salted honey accentuated by perfectly sliced sweet strawberries topped on the soft serve I got from Tofino Licks. The crystal clear yet magically emerald-like Tyler River where the bus driver stopped for a generous 25 minutes even though he announced 15 minutes when we arrived for a rest stop. The cute European guy with green eyes and long blond hair tied shabbily in a ponytail traveling in the very same bus, stealing glances at me (Yes, I’m aware he might have just been looking in my general direction, and I’m probably projecting, but try convincing the naive schoolgirl in me of that!).
When your mind is in “rational thoughts and actions only please” mode…
If you think I’m crazy for crediting a purry white fluff ball for validating my choice of traveling with no set plan, I can’t blame you or offer a case in my defense! The point, however, is that it is rewarding to give in to your whims and fancies from time to time. When your rational mind calls you out for choosing things that don’t make you richer or smarter, show it your collage of gains made in self-discovery, wonder, and contentment!